Fighting Society

Was it worth it anymore? The pain, the struggle. The thoughts that jumped into my head and stuck onto my brain. Why did I keep thinking these things? It’s only her. It always goes to her. Every time I tried to forget, she came back; not completely, but it’s like an invisible force was pulling us closer together whenever we get farther apart, but another force was there trying to keep us away from each other..
I have tried to forget. My mind had ached for a long time now, and it just kept on getting worse. I repeated to myself several times to forget, but nothing ever worked. She just kept coming back.
I didn’t know why I started feeling this way. It was probably the dance. When I thought about asking her. She was a great friend of mind, so why not? I wasn’t hoping for a relationship, just wanting to have fun at a social gathering. A small school’s dance. Sure, we had a great time. But when I asked her I couldn’t help but feel this awkwardness grow between us; the force that kept the invisible force from bringing us back together. It got worse every time I saw her, every time I thought about her.
All of the possible solutions to fixing this problem was a mystery to me. Nobody seemed to have noticed; they thought it was all a joke. They weren’t making fun of me. They were just the cause of the awkwardness. Some of them said things in front of us that made everything worse. I wished I could have spoken against it, but nobody knew what kind of position I was in.
Society told us many things about love. What it’s about, how it should be handled. But did they really know anything? Should I dare to listen to them? Everyone expected me and her to date. But was it really worth to go for it?
I guess I do know why I try to stand outside of Society. It was always telling the world that you should do this instead of that. Think this. Believe that. Believe in things you shouldn’t have believed in. But Society always grabbed onto me and pulled me down into its dark, endless void. My hand grasped for the light, but darkness always separated me. The reason why Society hasn’t taken me over was because I fought back. I resisted against the irresistible. But I didn’t know if I would have the strength to fight anymore.


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